Sunday again

It's Sunday again. A day for worshiping our Awesome, Amazing, Fascinating, Holy God.
Today was the Lord's Supper at church. Today, I just could not partake of it. I couldn't bring myself to "fake" repent, or to repent in a way that was rushed and not heartfelt. I wasn't about to eat and drink judgement unto myself. That's a scary scripture - but it does make you stop and think. I have several heart issues right now. I can't seem to make myself repent just yet, but what I do know, is that I am praying that God will change these heart issues I have, and He is. Slowly but surely. As hard as it is, I know it's exactly what should happen. I never intend on entering into something for a short term, and I hate when outside things interfere with my heart. I know that every heartache that touches my life, has to go through Your hands.
My prayer life is lacking somewhat...I am not devoting enough time to God to be filled by Him, His word, His Spirit. I don't have a set devotional time. I try to keep in fellowship and keep company with Him all throughout the day. Maybe I should take a few minutes each morning before the day starts and just be alone with God my Father.
Lord, please help me to be as crazy in love with you as you are with me. That I too may be as smitten with you as you are with me. Thank you Jesus for being the Lover of My Soul.

Love - your daughter