Confessions of this Shopoholic....

Do you justify everything you do? I do. I tend to think that if I can justify it, that makes it ok. I need to get this because it helps with this and I want to buy this because I can use it for this..... blah blah blah..... Does any of "this" honor God? More than likely not. I'm not saying the we don't have needs. This is waaaaay beyond needs. This is in the I WANT it now, because it's all about me category. There is no way I am honoring God by having 15 different shades of pink/hot pink nail polish. Yes, nail polish is reasonably priced depending on the brand, between $1.00 and $8.00! But when you have 10 bottles of pink at a $1.00 a pop = $10.00, even worse, at $8.00 a pop = $80.00! (or somewhere in between). Do we really need it? Are you living in excess? If I consider all the ways I blow money.... I shouldn't be broke. Have you ever thought about what you purchase and the "reason" or "justification" behind it? I have learned to ask myself "If I purchase this, will it make a difference in my life?" "Do I really NEED this?" I am learning as I go. The real deal is going through your checkbook and writing in all the things you bought at that particular store (this is what I do). It helps me hold myself accountable for the "things" I buy. I am not saying that we should never buy anything that does not bring glory to God, because we do have wants. Do those wants though, make a way for being greedy?
I love to shop for my children, I want them to have what they like and what I would like them to have as well. I could probably go everyday and buy them some "thing" that would make them happy (for a moment). Shortlived happiness. The new wears off, it becomes damaged, broken, trashed and/or put in a garage sale and treated as if it never meant anything at all. Is that a waste? Sometimes is it to me.

I wish I could get to a simpler lifestyle. I hate clutter, but I like pretty sparkly things. God is working on me in this area. He is showing me things, some I don't like and others just make me mad. But I am willing to let him be God and do whatever He needs to do with me.

I love you Lord.

OMGosh!

Sometimes I feel like just giving up on everything, I don't know what's wrong. Is this depression? Is this satan getting in my head - probably! He is evil and twisted like that! Sometimes I just want to take a step back for like, I don't know - a month! And just see what happens. As a Christian, I feel like I shouldn't be angry, I should stand against the forces of evil and stand on the truths of God's Word, (Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, and He will direct your path. Prov 3:5-6). I know that I should this.

I am aggravated with several different things going on in my life. Mostly, things with my kids. It upsets and aggravates the already unsettling issues I have with them, especially when other continually point out their "issues". Does anyone else have children who misbehave, act up, be silly and sometimes are unmanageable? Nope, I guess it's just me and they've NEVER been in a situation like that! Some are more tolerant than others. The others just plain ol' get on my nerves. Then the ones who try to help are overbearing and patronizing. Like they really care. It is ultimately my choice what steps I choose to take regarding MY children and their needs. I don't like feeling like my hand is being forced to take some alternative action that my heart is not set on and that I am not mentally prepared to deal with. I want to make uninfluenced, yet, well researched decisions.

Even us Christians have issues with anger. Mine seems to be settling a little deeper and making me a lot more snappy than usual..... let me rephrase that - snappy like I used to be - B4 I was a Christian.

Lord, I am begging for your help. You know what this is all about. I need direction, please skywrite it for me. In the mighty, wonderful, powerful, saving name of Christ. Amen.