Fine line of insanity

I am trying so hard to relish in the fact that if I am  biblically rearing my children in the way they should go, they truly won't depart from it when they're older.   I hope they one day realize how hard it is to be a parent and how many tears their mom (me) has cried over not being able to get them the things they want, or how many tears I shed over them mistreating me and acting as though I have nothing pertinent or important to add to their lives, or how many times I've holed myself up in my closet weeping because I feel as though I've lost my mind because my kids have no respect for me.  God, I need help.  Is my generosity hindering and hurting them, turning them into selfish little humans beings?  They get their fair share of the word no, but 1 no cancels out the last 20 things I've gotten for them or the last 8 places I've taken them, they turn it into 'you never let us do anything!'  Seriously??  After this day of smart comments, snide remarks, rolled eyes, ugly threats and mean things to say about his older brother, he received his punishment and has been sent to his room.  Something's got to give because I am walking a very fine line on the edge of insanity.... 'They're coming to take me away ha ha ho ho he he' I'm probably crazier than one person needs to be, but that's ok, we like it here. 

We'll just chalk this up to a rough couple of days..... Especially after that comment when he told his dad the other day that he was going to punch us in the nose because he didn't get his way ...... Really?  Bring it on big boy! 

The End.  For now.

Texticles, Tonsils & A Trippin Boo!

Yea, not the best title for a blog, but this is my week so far.

I've been fighting with sore tonsils for the last week, some of my previous days have been completely miserable.  I've been fighting the urge to sleep a little than usual, just so I don't feel the pain when I am awake.  I painfully sang my way through choir this morning, forcing my voice to work like I think it should.  Not that I can carry a tune in a bucket a regular day without tonsil issues, but anyway, I made it through choir.  I love choir, I just wish I was gifted with a beautiful voice.  Sometimes I feel like I'll never measure up to my fellow choir members who sing so angelically.  Stupid evil thoughts - curse thee satan, you suck.

So, I took my male dog to have him neutered on Friday.  A simple procedure, but he needed to be anesthetized obviously.  I am always fearful when anyone has to undergo anesthesia, sometimes they don't come out of it.  I had this overwhelming feeling all day that they were going to call me... "Mrs. Dillon, I'm sorry but we have some bad news..."  Thank the good Lord that didn't happen.  I thought several times about calling the vet to tell them to forget it, but I didn't do it.  My previously intact puppy came home ...out of tact?  I don't know what you call it, aside from neutered.   When my boys and I went to pick up my pooch and got him home, I showed them his incision and explained what they did to him - to which my son says "they took out his texticles!", to which I reply "precisely!" So I suppose there's no more texting for him!


Yesterday (Saturday) I had my very own version of Throw Momma From The Train...  In my brilliance, I planned a perfect day with my perfect hubby and my two beautifully perfect children on a excursion to the historical Railroad Museum in Galveston to tour AND ride a real train, and decided on a delightfully exquisite lunch at Sunflower Bakery and Cafe' (I recommend it!) lunch was followed up by a leisurely drive down the seawall.  In all my coolness as a mom, I snapped a gazillion photos, talked about how cool the trains are, enjoyed trolling in and out of hot train cars.  We were all done with the 1st 4 train tracks of getonable train cars that we could get on.  Engineers were taking a break from driving the train up and down the track, so we chilled and checked out my oldest child's favorite thing on the planet - the crossing gates!!!  Nothing like a ding ding with flashing red lights and a gate hand....just ask him!  Announced over the loud speaker was a message informing us that the train was now loading.  We took off out the door and gave the conductor our tickets and boarded the train.  We rode down the track, we stopped and we backed up and went back up the track where we began.  We were pretty much the last couple of people to get off the train, so I step down all the steps onto the step stool at the bottom, well then it all went slow motiony after that.  This is when my flipflop slid off the side of the stepstool, first thing to hit the ground was my pinky toe and side of my left foot, then all the sudden - in slow motion of course, my foot twisted and I fell on my right leg, bruising the lateral part of my lower leg, (my peroneus brevis muscle, for those who speak kinesiology :).  I swear someone hit the slomo button during the entire thing.  So, in all my coolness, I fell getting off the darn thing, bringing my coolness factor down about 9 notches from a 10 to 1!!   I was extremely embarrassed.  I looked around only to find myself on my butt and Rusty's hand stretched out to help me up.  I got up dusted myself off, and went to the bathroom to cry!  My perfectly beautiful day came to a screeching halt.  Stupid Skechers!

Yes, I am 'THE Heather'....Why?

So I went to massage school with this guy, he's a mess, and fun to be around.  Lovely family at home.  I invited them to church, they came.  I met and hugged his wife, met his son and daughters.  It was nice!  That's been about a year/& a half ago.

So, this past Friday night our church hosted a community outreach play.  A lady (parent of one of the performers) asks me if I know him, I was like 'yea, we went to massage therapy school together!'...  She continues to say so you are "THE Heather"...... Why? weird conversation along with accusatory looks and the smile of a cheshire cat.  it was strange.  I was like "yes, ..is that a bad thing?"  She said "no...., I am best friends with his wife 'so-in-so". I said "oh that's awesome!"  

The conversation was cool, but it was weird too.  Like she knew something about me that I didn't know she knew, kinda accusatory as if the wife had been concerned that there was something going in between her husband and me.  Which is WAY off base.  There's enough going on in that relationship, that I am no where near the start of their problems, even with me having friendship with him.

For one thing, I am not a home wrecker.  Secondly, I have a family of my own and I am not willing to risk that over anyone.  I guess I should feel flattered that I could be thought of as a threat, but goodness, I mean seriously - look at me - there is NOTHING here to be threatened by.  I don't like my exterior that much, so why would anyone else.

Jealousy kills marriages, just an FYI.  Don't be jealous.  It's cancerous.

Un-Parenting 101

So there's a crazy rumor going around that says that children do not come with an instruction manual when they're born, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news - but it's totally true!  When the baby comes bouncing out of the womb, unfortunately there's no book attached!  The baby is lovingly attached to your heart, and when babies are born you snuggle and coddle them close, but eventually they begin to learn independence - then that attachment that they have with you slowly begins to rip your heart right out of your chest and with every step they take, they get farther and farther away, breaking you down to where you are feeling like a worthless parent. With that being said WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD!!!!  We're all crazy here!  Here's another sad truth - as parents, we have absolutely no stinking idea of what in the world we're doing when it comes to raising kids.  There you have it, we're all clueless.

In a world filled with germ-a-phobe moms who want their children to be overachievers and goal oriented, be better than everyone else's child, "don't touch that you don't know where it's been", "don't eat that - it's so unhealthy",  "I don't let little Johnny do that because it'll paint me as a bad parent..... !" Blah blah blah!!!  Wake up moms.   It's not about you OR your precious self image to be the best mom on the planet - who cares what adults are watching you, the more important thing is that your kids are watching you and THEY are ones who need to know they're loved. 

At the ripe young ages of 9 & 11, I am just ecstatic that my two boys are still alive!  With that being said, I must be doing something right, not from a manual of course, but to me it seems  right.   I know that the things I 'allow' my children to do aren't necessarily healthy for them either.   My kids eat corn-dogs, cheese puffs, chocolate and ice cream, watch way too much TV, see TV shows and movies with a few choice words, they talk back, are inconsiderate and ungrateful, their room is an abyss where stuff goes in but doesn't come out, and the list goes on..... Yea, I know (Shhhish!  keep your comments to yourself! You let yours get away with it too!).   

I grew up just knowing that my parents screwed me all up!! (To a degree they did......But shoot, they didn't know what the hell they we're doing either.... as previously mentioned 'babies don't come with instruction manuals.'   I believe that we create destruction manuals with our own children and we pass that manual down to our own children and their children's children.  We have to stop living through our children and let our children be children.  Life is not meant to be a stressful bore.  We've been given a beautiful and abundant life.  Let your children experience that same life.  Who cares if they pick up some Cheetos from the floor and eat it - they need some germs to build up antibodies in their immune systems. 

Point being - none of us know what we're doing, but by-golly, we're doing the best we can do!  Keep on rockin and being the best parent you can be for your kids!  Don't be the victim of your parents mishaps - you too shall have mishaps with your own babies!  Hopefully they'll learn from your mishaps and not pass them on to their children.