Anguish to Joy

Last night I went to Tuesday night bible study with Beth Moore at Houston’s First Baptist. We are currently studying the book of James. Last night the theme of the study was on “joy” and “anguish”, but mostly anguish is what we discussed. After at least ¾ of the way through the study, I realized and said to myself “what does any of this have to do with James?” We didn’t even discuss James (at all!), which was fine – she could speak on pretty much anything and still keep my attention. All during the whole study and speaking about anguish and the description of it, my heart kept going back to the beginning of January and all the things that transpired – I literally was in anguish over it all. I was consumed by it, I was angered by it, I was hurt by it, so much that I just would have been better off curled up in a ball in my closet floor. And the crying, I spent so much time crying about it, just when I thought I was out of tears, here came another wave. It wasn’t until Beth read Psalm 55:1-5 to us – that it hit me. We read the scripture from the NIV version, but I using the NLT:
Psalm 55:1-5 (NLT) - Listen to my prayer, O God. Do not ignore my cry for help! Please listen and answer me, for I am overwhelmed by my troubles. My enemies shout at me, making loud and wicked threats. They bring trouble on me, hunting me down in their anger. My heart is in anguish. The terror of death overpowers me. Fear and trembling overwhelm me. I can’t stop shaking. - This scripure describes a lot of pain and anguish over a certain situation. Then, she said this is a Psalm pertaining to the betrayal of a close friend – WHOA! Are you serious!!! I know my mouth had to have dropped wide open and of course the tears came again. Listening to her speak on anguish and how it felt to my soul and the betrayal of a friend/s – it hit me in the heart.
In hearing all of this I also learned that anguish is meant to lead to a birth. Mental anguish is like the mind being in labor. There is something beautiful meant to take place from all this pain. In relation to childbirth – we go through harsh labor and pain and then when this beautiful child enters the world, when it’s all over, we forget the pain and our pain turns from anguish to joy! What does this mean to me? It means that something lovely and amazing is going to come from all this “stuff” I’ve been going through. I know God has a plan. He is revealing things to me through others – it’s amazing! We have been asked recently to become involved with beginning a brand new ministry, from the ground up. It will be involving the 18-29 year age range, getting into the meat of God’s word with them. This is an age range that is often overlooked – there needs to be a way to bridge that gap. Children are with children – the more mature folks are with the more mature folks… then there’s us – the 20+ & 30-somethings. This totally sounds like an incredible ministry opportunity. I am very excited to hear more from God on this and see where he leads us both in serving Him. My desire is to serve Him, in whatever way he desires for me.
- Thank you Lord, for your word last night, I was utterly floored and amazed. I felt as though the entire message was directed at me, it was as if you were the one explaining all this to me. I treasure you Lord, I treasure your word, I love that your ways are higher and your ways are better – even when I don’t understand them. You are the God of my days and the Lord of my life. Only you are worthy of my praise. In the saving name of Jesus Christ, Amen and Amen! (truly truly!)