Grief is a bitch in high heels, sipping on a amaretto sour, spouting out ugly hateful things and mocking my every emotion, magnifying my wrongs and forgetting my rights. Most of the time she makes me want to run and hide. Then there are times that she's a 7 year old curled up in a fetal position begging for someone to please go find her mommy, because she can't breathe. She torments me and makes me feel all the bad things that happened, all over again, resurfacing the memories I had buried deep in my soul. She makes me question everything that I am for sure was real.... so was it?
I am currently writing from the dark places in my soul, the place where unseen things dwell. Feelings of despair, hopelessness, sadness, grief and anger reside here. This is a place where I don't invite friends to join me. I don't allow anyone to see what's behind the closet door because that's the place where a multitude of bad things, call home.
I am so blinded by the dark right now that I can't even see the light. I truly am not in a place that I want to see any good. Grief and weariness have captured me, I'm locked up in chains, in bondage because of my own emotions. Deceived by my own feelings and thoughts.
But I know where the key is.
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