Sometimes, things that you think won't change, change. Things that hope will change, don't change. I am sitting at a crossroads right now. I'm not sure if I should go to the left or to the right. I seemed to have buried myself again. I keep shutting down more and more and in the meanwhile, I'm pushing everyone around me even farther away. I'm to the point that I'd really just rather run away and forget everything. I have a 1,000 different emotions going on in my mind and heart and I can't seem to sort them all out. I feel so numbed out right now. Like no matter what happens, I wouldn't care, nor would I be surprised by anything. That's how numb I am.
I know Lord, that you already knew all this was going to happen. I just wish you'd give me a glimpse of the outcome, cause I am losing heart here real fast. I need a ray of hope to be shed on this whole thing. I know the way I feel is wrong. I've prayed so long for it to change, and it hasn't. What do I do now?
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