Letting Go & Finding Myself

I am choosing MY life, moment by moment.

It is my turn to decide what makes me happy and follow my heart.  I am currently free.  Free from a man or significant other, free to choose, free to be alone if I want.  Fuck everyone else and what they think and what they think I should do.  It's my time to create THE LIFE I WANT, they way I want things to be, the way I see them.  A life foremost for myself and also my children. Screw everything and everyone else.

I've spent the last many years being quiet and going with the flow.  Fuck the flow.  I want passion, I want happy, I want joy and I want security.  I want to enjoy the things that matter most to me. I want simplicity and art and the beach and nature and good books and coffee and real true uninhibited unconditional love.  I want my zest for life to be reflected in my personality and the way I come across to other people.  I want to enjoy this one short life that I've been given.  I don't give myself near enough credit or build up my own self esteem near enough.  I get down on myself and think I am just a useless human being that has no value nor adds value to anyone else's life.

It's time to let go....
of fear
of anger
of worry
of anxiety
of the past
of sadness
of negativity
of frustration
of depression
of helplessness
of hopelessness
of the self doubt
of doubt in general
of being overly conscious
of the feeling of worthlessness
of worrying about what other people think of me

Will I ever get all the answers to the questions I have with regards to the past, yes, here's my answer - because fuck, shit fucking happened, it did, I can't do anything about the past or worry about the reason things happened.  People fuck up all the time.  Am I supposed to hold a grudge?  No, because all that is going to do is make me completely crazy and plant more doubt and hopelessness in my heart and mind and make me feel as though I wasn't enough.  Maybe I wasn't, but I will be enough for someone else someday.  Right now, I don't even care.  

It is all this negative stuff the weighs me down and makes me feel bad about ME.  This is the weight I need to lose, to shed this shit and to become lighter in my heart and my mind  So I am choosing to free my mind.  

If it doesn't feed my soul, it has to go away.
My past was a learning experience for my future so bring on the future!  Let's do this shit!!!