Minus One

Then there were nine.  Today is Thanksgiving.  Family will be over and the food will be cooked.  We'll all eat until we are as stuffed as turkeys.  We'll laugh and chat and talk about the weather, what the kids have been doing in school, how the drive was coming in from Grapeland, how the dogs are doing, how different family members are doing and stuff, we'll tell stupid jokes that bring a giggle or two.

There will be this looming 1 ton elephant in the room all day, hanging around, watching us, waiting for us to talk about it, waiting for the tears to fall, watching to see how painfully we trudge through Thanksgiving minus one.  Maybe to see how well we can handle this, how much we're committed to moving forward and enjoying the old memories, as well as making some new memories in the process.  Possibly to see if we're ready to begin a journey without her here.  It's not a journey any of us want to go on.  Unfortunately, we have to.  

As hard as this day may be for me, I know it's especially hard on my dad as well.  There's never enough time that passes that heals all the wounds, aches and hurts from suffering a massive loss.  The kind of loss that gashes a hole in the very life you've known, ripping it all to hell.

She was a mom.

She was a grandmother.

She was a wife.

She was a soulmate.

She was a sister.

She was a best friend.

She was a daughter.

She is healed completely.

She is with the Lord.

Eventually, this will be well with my soul.  Today is hard.  Even in the difficulty of he day, I'm thankful.

Thankful for my family, my kids, my Mahoney, my dads, my second mom, my brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, my nana, my pooch, my friends, that I'm here to enjoy a holiday with the people I love, that I have talents and abilities, that I love and am loved, that I'm here to celebrate another year of Thanksgiving with most of my people.

Even though we're minus one.