Goodbye 2011

The winds of change blew through my tree and rustled every leaf on every limb this year! My 2011 went a little like this. I felt as though I lost my own personal identity in many ways, became a little more complacent in some ways, lost my mind a few times, watched some things fall apart that were not my doing, and lost some of my caring along the way. On a more positive note I started trying to scratch off each one of my attitudes and feelings above. I began going to school to become a professional massage therapist. I started learning who I am again. Began to learn that complacency doesnt get me anywhere and I want to move! Got a diagnosis of sorts from the doctor regarding my son....apparently we have Aspergers Autism, he is a high functioning autistic (thank God), but still brings me to this thought...."I hate Autism". I hate the fact that he has a label on him now. I hate the fact that he can't control him actions or himself. I hate that it seems to be robbing him of life, of friends, of self-worth and confidence. He knows something is wrong. As for the things that fell apart, well, God is in control of that situation as well. It sure made me open my eyes and see some things, things that I was blinded to, things you couldn't see unless you were on the outside looking in again.. Not sure what God's plan is for me in 2012, but one thing is for certain - He's got it covered. The healing process began in a lot of ways for me this year - relationships with family/hubby/and so called friends. Began working on my friendship with my mom. We've had a rough almost 2 years. It's just not been the same since she became even more ill and started on dialysis. I have been gaining some of desire and the want to, to restrengthen this mother/daughter bond. The relationship I need to rebuild the most is the only one that counts - my relationship with God. It has foundered somewhat because I spent most of 2011 in being angry, hurt and confused. I never left God and I know he never left me. But I let others drive me out of fellowship at my church and I got to the point where I just didn't care anymore to be there. We, as a people, don't understand the impact we have on others by the things we say and do. I know they aren't perfect and neither am I. My relationship/fellowship with God is more important than any "person". I love my Lord.

Goodbye 2011, it was nice knowing ya! Looking forward to 2012, a new and better year filled with happiness and joy and fresh starts!

Let EVERYTHING that has breath PRAISE the LORD! Psalm 150:6